How was your day? We had a wonderful day here. Ben is home and doing so well, we played Lego and watched a movie. The kindness of neighbors brought us an amazing dinner. It’s a beautiful Thursday evening, we went to see the new Angry Birds movie. It’s cute, you’ll love it! Grandma is reading the kids stories and I am spending a little time with you. On paper we had a fabulous day.
But maybe just pause that for just a second and I’ll tell you a little secret I have, it’s called “fake it till you make it”. Hang on, let’s all go get a glass of wine, if it’s morning have a cup of coffee. Let me tell you this day looked beautiful but I did not care for it. I would even say this day was a bit sh*t. My heart is heavy. I got up late, I slept right through my alarm. Second day in a row. Grandma let me sleep in. I wasn’t a great sleeper before but now I have a hard time closing my eyes so when I fall asleep they tend to leave me be. I walked Lily to school, I grip her hand too tightly as the morning traffic goes by. I caught up on the boys past due school forms I’d missed last week, I probably would have forgotten anyway, shhh our secrets. Everyone asks how I am but there’s that note in the air. It’s not an awkward note, it’s more fear and caring and fear. I can see it and I can feel it and it’s totally okay. I can feel the tug of your heart strings and the questions. You can totally hug me and I will hug you back, but be prepared I bet we will both cry so bring a tissue lol!
I built Lego all morning. Sweet Ben needs 24 hour supervision to make sure he keeps his “hardware”safe. He brushed it on a doorway yesterday and in a calmish panic we went through the questions does it hurt because you’re scared, does it hurt because it hurts, should we go to the hospital immediately? He’s more careful but it will only last as long as we remember and constantly shout out ” Gahhh careful!!” I ask him every 10 minutes if he’s hungry. I discovered the exact edible way to mush noodles without making an icky paste. The FedEx man came this afternoon and I may have shouted ” Yes I win!!!” And then proceeded to tell the children that their daddy was here to visit. Oh my gosh some of you will know that joke from the old site. All our children are gingers only neither of us are, but we always had a very handsome ginger FedEx man. I know, I am totally inappropriate, I am supposed to be a crying mother! Oh my oh my. Well and then on a gorgeous Thursday evening, we went to the movies. I just couldn’t do it. It was such a beautiful night and I knew all the neighbourhood children would be out playing, riding bikes and scooters, skipping rope and playing with watershooters. We have seventeen kids under ten within a five house radius. It’s fabulous! Unless you’re a six-year-old boy with pins in your face who’s not allowed to move without your mother making a bubble around you. He’s so good he wouldn’t have said a thing but I know it has to be hard, especially as he feels better. So we packed up and went to the movies! Fake it til you make it. There is no sense crying all day, I can put on a smile. It doesn’t hurt me to do it. One day maybe I won’t want to bubble wrap my children. Maybe I won’t sleep with a hand on their chest or have to keep my eyes open all the time. Someday maybe I won’t cry on a dime, but that day is not today and today sucks. Perhaps that wasn’t the story you expected. This is certainly not the tone of this site, but for now we are all just friends and some of us had hard days. So for me if you could remember when you see people, even those perky smiling people, you never know the day they had and lend them the kindness you would a friend, a simple thing may brighten their day.
As we head into the weekend. Enjoy your days, do something you absolutely love. Life is sweet and precious. Try to be kind.
We’d love to hear about your weekend!