Last week you all know I had a bit of a low point. Emotionally I am so much better. This week has been fun, despite all my children’s woes of back to school. I’ve been making friends, there is a great military community here. We had a little meet and greet with a bunch of lovely ladies. And last night as a group we visited a Jerusalem Restaurant and watched belly dancing. I wish I had a picture to show you!!
Okay, let’s talk medical jargon…This week I had a doctors appointment to discuss my MRI results. They really aren’t great. The good part of this is that it shows something. No more, “We fixed it, suck it up buttercup.” I can do my best to try and explain the results. Remember I am not an ‘actual’ doctor but, I do watch a lot of Greys Anatomy and also have a Masters in Dr. Google. I know. It’s impressive. In laypersons terms, I have a bulging disc a level above and below my fusion (C5/6), both of which are pressing against my spinal cord. Spinal cords do not like to be touched. That’s a fact! I also have “osteophytes.” Osteophytes are bone spurs or growths, the result is there isn’t enough room, things are being compressed and this causes a lot of pain along with a variety of other fantastic super not-fun side effects.
Have you read the Spoonie story? This might be a good time. (Link below) You should read it before we go on.
So here we are, again. Back to a crummy MRI and talking about treatment options. I have to admit I’m scared. When met with my new Doctor she kept saying, “You knew! You knew exactly what levels!” (of my spine). Yes….I did. (Whispers: that’s because it hurts like fuck.) I have no gentle way to say it. I’m running out of spoons. It hurts. My arms and hands are increasingly hard to use and tire out. It’s not fair to decide if you have enough energy to wash your own hair. I try to stay positive, I’m lucky that I have a husband who will wash my hair (even when I’m cross with him – I think the nudie sneak-peak part of it makes up for the sour face). Things that make me sad are not being able to hold a child’s hand because I can’t handle to skin contact and pressure. Having to roll away and make a pillow barrier at night because my husband’s breath stirs the air too much and it causes pain. It’s going to be a long sleeve dress and soft leggings type of fall for me.
The plan is to get into a new Neurosurgeon. I contacted mine from my previous surgery and asked if he could help. He requested I send my scans so at least someone is looking at them. I hope to be seen soon, I don’t think I have much wait left in me.
Living on top of a grocery store (and liquor store; happy dance) has been such a blessing. It saves me so many spoons. I can skip the good mom show of baking cookies and buy fresh ones downstairs. Technically they are made in our home so that’s almost the same as ‘home-made,’ lol.
So that’s where we stand. This post feels unfinished. I don’t know what to add or take away. If anyone has questions feel free to post them in the comments. I’m okay to talk about this. We’re going to be okay. We have to be.
With love Kate